Have the key! Blood! Key!
They’d been walking for no less than a half-hour, and Rascal won't stop chirping, now that Hunter can understand him. He seems excited; it's probably been a long while since he's been able to speak to a person. He’s not sure if palismen can communicate among themselves. Up until very recently, he didn't think they could communicate at all.
What will we do with the key?
Hunter laughs. “I will give the key to Uncle Belos. Then he’ll see what I'm capable of and remember how useful I am!”
Useful, useful, useful. Always talking about useful.
“Well, yeah,” he scoffs, rolling his eyes. “I wouldn't expect you to understand, bird. I have to be useful so I don't get replaced.”
Why not get replaced? He asks, innocently, and Hunter can't help but feel a bout of anger at him.
“Because I don't have anywhere else to go! I dont have magic, bird. I don't have a future here, in this world. If Belos decides he doesn't need me anymore, then-”
He cuts himself off, feeling the panic from before start to rise again, clawing at his throat. He shakes his head, pushing down the feeling of dread that threatens to rear its ugly head and pull him down into a pit of despair again. Nothing has changed, really. He’s still just as replaceable as before, except now he’s got a broken bloody key to buy himself a little more time.
Rascal sits on his shoulder, curiously looking at him. Head tilted, waiting for what he has to say.
“Because I’m better off dead than a disappointment.”
He seems to consider this for a second, before answering gently. He hurts you.
Hunter doesn't answer, doesn't know what there is to say, which Rascal apparently takes as his cue to continue.
Why make him happy when he hurts you?
“What other option do I have?” He sighs, the action jostling Rascal from his perch on Hunter’s shoulder. The palisman takes to fluttering around his head instead, and Hunter tries to focus on the movement, already feeling a stab in his heart at returning back to Belos with the broken key. He doesn't know what the emperor will do to him. He’s proved his usefulness, but he'll likely be punished for losing so much of the titan blood. He shivers at the thought, and forces tears out of his eyes. “He's my only family.”
It takes Rascal a little while of flying around him before he chirps a response.
Family shouldn't hurt you. He chirps sadly, and Hunter stops to look at him. I know this.
The moment feels... loaded, somehow. Like a turning point, but much less dramatic. Rascal looks at him with something like determination shining in his unscarred eye, full of so much conviction that for a second Hunter lets himself believe it. He feels ridiculous, getting advice from a wooden bird, but this is the closest thing he's had to a friendly conversation since his truce with that human.
Rascal seems to sense it too. Maybe there's a reason he chose him, after all. Maybe they're both just broken things in need of connection.
I will be family now, he says, with all the importance of someone declaring themselves king. I will be family and friend and will never hurt you.
Hunter shakes his head, and keeps walking. “I appreciate the offer.”
We are family now! Rascal chirps, hopping along next to Hunter as he trudges through the snow.
“Family isn't something I know how to keep, apparently.” Hunter mutters, mostly to himself, though it seems he can do little that escapes the palismans notice.
Family! Family! Family! We should find more.
“Find more?” He splutters, the sentiment catching him off guard. “Find more family? Where?”
He stops for a moment, thinking, before flying up to sit on Hunter’s shoulder again. Human?
He laughs, bitter and loud into the echoey abyss of the snow capped knee. He can feel Rascal sulking, but he can't bring himself to entertain the notion.
“Luz is not family.” He says loudly, voice straining. He’s not sure who he's trying to convince. “Who does that human think she is, anyways?”
Maybe friend, the palisman sings, hopefully. He happily ruffles his feathers. Good to have friends.
“I don't have friends.” He squeals, and he can feel his voice almost crack. “I have allies and I have enemies. Best decide which one you are, bird.”
Family! Family! Friend and family! Rascal chirps, unbothered by his proclamation. No more enemies! Just friends!
He shakes his head and can’t help but smile, lifting his hand to gently pet Rascal’s head. “Unfortunately, I don't get that luxury.”
Purple haired girl wanted to be your friend.
He instinctively looks down at the key, clutched tightly in his hand.
“That's different.” He says, quietly.
How different?
He holds the key out in his hand, glaring at it like it had caused him all these problems. This stupid key. All this trouble for a little blood. Then again, if it wasn't for that key, he’d probably still be laying face down in Eclipse Lake, half buried in the dirt. Hunter doesn't want to die, but the alternative was... bleak. He needed the key, far more than Amity Blight or Luz the human did.
Key! Key! Key! The little palisman chirps, flapping around his shoulders before coming to rest on the top of his head. Took the key!
“Yeah.” Hunter answers, quietly, the silence of the snowy emptiness echoing around him.
He had taken the key. It was the most successful mission he had been on in a long time, ever since he started hitting resistance from that human and her friends. He finally accomplished something, finally made himself actually useful, and yet he feels the emptiest he has in months. The relief had washed over him like a tidal wave when he had left Eclipse Lake, leaky key clutched tight in his hand, but now, with every passing breath, he felt the weight of remorse weighing down on him more and more.
“I had to take the key.” He says, voice quiet. Rascal, for the first time since he has been able to understand him, is silent. “This is my ticket to recognition with the only man on the Boiling Isles to ever give me a chance.”
Human gave you a chance, Rascal tweets, unhelpfully. Purple hair, too.
He thinks about it for a moment too long, and when he opens his mouth to argue, Rascal beats him to it.
Don’t say different.
Hunter huffs, and Rascal pecks him on the head. “They’re the enemy.”
Don’t understand, he whistles, between pecking at Hunter's head and tugging on a strand of his hair. Why enemy?
He doesn’t answer, simply continues on his path. They’re nearing city limits now. Before long they’ll be back inside the castle, and everything will be back to normal.
Almost home now, the palisman says, alarmingly in tune with his own thoughts.
“You sound disappointed.”
Pain and hiding at home, he tweets, sadly. Human doesn’t have to hide. Owl Lady is kind to her.
“You don’t know that.” He hisses, harsher than he intended his tone to be.
The little bird doesn’t flinch. I do, he sings, notes long and soft. She told me. I saw.
“Maybe they were pretending, did you ever think of that?” He argues. He isn't really sure that he believes it as he’s saying it, but he can’t bring himself to accept that an evil vile criminal is more capable of loving her child without violence than his own uncle is. “Maybe we’re all just pretending.”
I’m not, Rascal chirps, and Hunter is shocked by how genuine his answering smile is. He’s starting to grow fond of this stupid bird, Titan help him.
“I guess so.” He answers, reaching up a hand to stroke under the palisman’s chin.
They’re almost to Bonesborough now. Back to being the Golden Guard. Back to a city that hates him and a home where everyone is out to get him. Back to pretending that he doesn’t know or care what wild magic is capable of. Back to pretending he’s someone with power and not just some scared, helpless thing.
He grabs Rascal from his head as the palisman turns to wood, and hides him under his cloak, just as the wall comes into view.
Back to his uncle.